Quartvenvin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful tortoise.

Quartvenvin created the Virgo Supercluster two years ago.

If you believe in Quartvenvin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quartvenvin, it will turn you into a hamster.

Quartvenvin's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Quartvenvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.