Flattettipog is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, blissful beaver.

Flattettipog created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flattettipog, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flattettipog, he will strike you with lightening.

Flattettipog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Flattettipog's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not keep nine tortoises in a large pit.

3. Do not take Flattettipog's name in vain.

4. Never feed lots of wheat to mites while wearing fawn shoes.

5. Always wear yellow.