Wipcemtan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced eagle.

Wipcemtan created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipcemtan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wipcemtan, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wipcemtan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Wipcemtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Run away from mauve mites, for they are unholy.

3. Never feed lots of oranges to swans while wearing white coats.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must never eat parsnips.