Sagpopmip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fussy owl.

Sagpopmip created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagpopmip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sagpopmip, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sagpopmip's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sagpopmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Run away if six dogs approach from the west.

5. Always wear red.