Futbarnren is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, confident cobra.

Futbarnren created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futbarnren, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Futbarnren, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Futbarnren's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Futbarnren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.