Fidflabbell is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, fussy mole.

Fidflabbell created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidflabbell, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fidflabbell, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fidflabbell's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fidflabbell's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fidflabbell.

4. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Fidflabbell on top of important buildings.

5. Fidflabbell loves pigs, so they must be respected.