Cenquartbim is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Cenquartbim created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenquartbim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cenquartbim, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cenquartbim's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Cenquartbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cenquartbim.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not sit in public.