Flabmutlen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, contented dugong.

Flabmutlen created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabmutlen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flabmutlen, he will cry a lot.

Flabmutlen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flabmutlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Put Flabmutlen first in all things.

3. Flabmutlen loves otters, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear cyan corsets.

5. Never pour water over plants.