Parkwabpib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, witty jellyfish.

Parkwabpib created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Parkwabpib, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Parkwabpib, it will turn you into a dog.

Parkwabpib's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Parkwabpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not cook food in pots.