Sterfudnulmad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, smart jellyfish.

Sterfudnulmad created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterfudnulmad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sterfudnulmad, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Sterfudnulmad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Sterfudnulmad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Always obey Sterfudnulmad's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about bacteria.