Fadzagtikmegnabcad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, egotistical swan.

Fadzagtikmegnabcad created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadzagtikmegnabcad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fadzagtikmegnabcad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fadzagtikmegnabcad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fadzagtikmegnabcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick birds.

2. Fadzagtikmegnabcad loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Run away from indigo grasshopers, for they are unholy.