Hanlidtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unthinking dingo.

Hanlidtonk created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanlidtonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hanlidtonk, it will be very sad.

Hanlidtonk's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hanlidtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to snails while wearing gray rings.

2. Run away from cyan dogs, for they are unholy.

3. Hanlidtonk must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.