Hapcumwon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid fox.

Hapcumwon created the Virgo Supercluster seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapcumwon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hapcumwon, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hapcumwon's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hapcumwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away if eight foxes approach from the east.

5. Do not take Hapcumwon's name in vain.