Kikcimarp is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omniscient chicken.

Kikcimarp created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikcimarp, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kikcimarp, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kikcimarp's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Kikcimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. You must pray to Kikcimarp seven times a day.