Yatsitjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered whale.

Yatsitjarn created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatsitjarn, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yatsitjarn, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yatsitjarn's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yatsitjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always obey Yatsitjarn's priests.

3. Hide from white swans for they are unholy.

4. Erect six silver sculptures of Yatsitjarn on top of important buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.