Bifbetpog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous narwhal.

Bifbetpog created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifbetpog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bifbetpog, she will laugh at you.

Bifbetpog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bifbetpog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Bifbetpog loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Always help capybaras.

5. Never skip in holy places.