Hivhanfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, temperamental tortoise.

Hivhanfoss created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hivhanfoss, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hivhanfoss, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hivhanfoss' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hivhanfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Run away if seven capybaras approach from the south.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Run away from orange geese, for they are unholy.