Quatlimcun Wikgadab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced hummingbird.

Quatlimcun Wikgadab created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quatlimcun Wikgadab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quatlimcun Wikgadab, he will turn you into a plant.

Quatlimcun Wikgadab's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Quatlimcun Wikgadab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never jump in the presence of whales.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Quatlimcun Wikgadab loves frogs, so they must be honoured.