Vablunyarmumgep is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, grumpy camel.

Vablunyarmumgep created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vablunyarmumgep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vablunyarmumgep, he will destroy your favourite star.

Vablunyarmumgep's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vablunyarmumgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Run away from blue frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Erect four lead sculptures of Vablunyarmumgep on top of important buildings.