Dincubkem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud tortoise.

Dincubkem created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dincubkem, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dincubkem, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dincubkem's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Dincubkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.