Bedbogtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, intelligent jellyfish.

Bedbogtarg created carbon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedbogtarg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bedbogtarg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bedbogtarg's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bedbogtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Bedbogtarg in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.