Cinqueegmis Sansafnut is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring hyena.

Cinqueegmis Sansafnut created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinqueegmis Sansafnut, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cinqueegmis Sansafnut, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cinqueegmis Sansafnut's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cinqueegmis Sansafnut's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about gravity.