Bagcundib is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent walrus.

Bagcundib created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Bagcundib, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bagcundib, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bagcundib's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bagcundib's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the west.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.