Parkyastwik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, almighty hamster.

Parkyastwik created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkyastwik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Parkyastwik, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Parkyastwik's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Parkyastwik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

5. Never mention cats.