Flanfitrag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful spider.

Flanfitrag created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanfitrag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flanfitrag, she will be mildly annoyed.

Flanfitrag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Flanfitrag's Holy Commandments

1. Flanfitrag loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Never paint your neck turquoise.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flanfitrag.