Narlstragwad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair slug.

Narlstragwad created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlstragwad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Narlstragwad, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Narlstragwad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Narlstragwad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Put Narlstragwad first in all things.

3. Do not keep five monkeys in a large pit.

4. Do not speak about bread.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Narlstragwad.