Belltitgum is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, vain goblin.

Belltitgum created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Belltitgum, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Belltitgum, he will turn you into a mole.

Belltitgum's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Belltitgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Do not take Belltitgum's name in vain.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.