Hamfligart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, passionate aardvark.

Hamfligart created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hamfligart, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hamfligart, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hamfligart's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hamfligart's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Do not eat carrots.