Xenjatmeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional skunk.

Xenjatmeg created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenjatmeg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xenjatmeg, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Xenjatmeg's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Xenjatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. Xenjatmeg must be the most important thing in your life.