Larpwotcip is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, effective human.

Larpwotcip created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpwotcip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Larpwotcip, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larpwotcip's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Larpwotcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larpwotcip.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.