Loopvadzast is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, almighty hyena.

Loopvadzast created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvadzast, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Loopvadzast, it will try to impress you with trees.

Loopvadzast's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Loopvadzast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Always look after injured aardvarks.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.