Larnlegren is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, benevolent clam.

Larnlegren created the Tadpole Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnlegren, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larnlegren, it will manifest in front of you.

Larnlegren's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Larnlegren's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Never talk about dark energy near badgers while wearing brown skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your head.