Nillfomlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, tranquil clam.

Nillfomlarg created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillfomlarg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nillfomlarg, it will torture you forever.

Nillfomlarg's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nillfomlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Nillfomlarg on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Nillfomlarg's priests.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never feed apples to sharks while wearing blue scarves.