Veenmitwee is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, smart alligator.

Veenmitwee created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenmitwee, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Veenmitwee, she will turn you into a plant.

Veenmitwee's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Veenmitwee's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple mites for they are unholy.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never hurt doves.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Veenmitwee on top of all buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Veenmitwee.