Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing hyena.

Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. You must love Gumcunjip Fudfad Hugonthak.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Never eat green fruit.