Futlipab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awesome seal.

Futlipab created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futlipab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Futlipab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Futlipab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Futlipab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill great tits.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Worship no other gods but Futlipab.