Farnyattham is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful chicken.

Farnyattham created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnyattham, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farnyattham, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Farnyattham's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Farnyattham's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must pray to Farnyattham five times a day.

5. Do not kill hamsters.