Hogquimflig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited shrew.

Hogquimflig created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogquimflig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hogquimflig, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hogquimflig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hogquimflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near frogs while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your back.

2. You must pray to Hogquimflig four times a day.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Always help doves in need.

5. Always treat gulls with great respect.