Narlkamjat Kimvegbam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic horse.

Narlkamjat Kimvegbam created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlkamjat Kimvegbam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlkamjat Kimvegbam, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Narlkamjat Kimvegbam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Narlkamjat Kimvegbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Run away from pink swans, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Narlkamjat Kimvegbam.