Bellfabsin Fotflapaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, competent salamander.

Bellfabsin Fotflapaf created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellfabsin Fotflapaf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bellfabsin Fotflapaf, he will destroy your home planet.

Bellfabsin Fotflapaf's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bellfabsin Fotflapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never bounce in the presence of shrews.

3. Always treat snakes with great respect.

4. Always wear white.

5. Erect seven copper sculptures of Bellfabsin Fotflapaf on top of important buildings.