Botstigzig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent unicorn.

Botstigzig created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Botstigzig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Botstigzig, she will curse you with boils.

Botstigzig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Botstigzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the north.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Botstigzig.

5. Never leap near capybaras.