Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, merciless rhinoceros.

Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Dancussfod Tikbasspitkembug Faggesspad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the north.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.