Honfodjap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying alligator.

Honfodjap created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Honfodjap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Honfodjap, it will turn you into a snail.

Honfodjap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Honfodjap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never feed beans to birds while wearing violet dresses.

4. Never write about quantum field theory.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.