Stafsandtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Stafsandtaf created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Stafsandtaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Stafsandtaf, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Stafsandtaf's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Stafsandtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven dogs approach from the east.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never leap near horses.

5. Never talk about special relativity near manatees while wearing gray jumpers and balancing five gold spheres on your arms.