Tenwabtonbogkemteen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, duplicitous giraffe.

Tenwabtonbogkemteen created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenwabtonbogkemteen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tenwabtonbogkemteen, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tenwabtonbogkemteen's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tenwabtonbogkemteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing purple scarves and balancing nine platinum spheres on your back.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Worship no other gods but Tenwabtonbogkemteen.