Flymidsom is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, amazing crab.

Flymidsom created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Flymidsom, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flymidsom, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flymidsom's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flymidsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear scarves.