Jatjadjatgum is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, witty salamander.

Jatjadjatgum created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Jatjadjatgum, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jatjadjatgum, it will turn you into a hamster.

Jatjadjatgum's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jatjadjatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms red.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near snails while wearing magenta trousers and balancing eight zinc spheres on your hands.

4. Never eat nuts.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.