Lakjipyar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented beaver.

Lakjipyar created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Lakjipyar, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakjipyar, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Lakjipyar's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lakjipyar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven dogs approach from the east.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Lakjipyar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never mention geese.