Fasjapbennibflan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able mole.

Fasjapbennibflan created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Fasjapbennibflan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fasjapbennibflan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fasjapbennibflan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fasjapbennibflan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

3. Never feed lots of corn to shrews while wearing orange scarves.

4. Do not take Fasjapbennibflan's name in vain.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing red dresses and balancing seven copper spheres on your feet.