Funxuckgab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating newt.

Funxuckgab created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Funxuckgab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Funxuckgab, it will be very sad.

Funxuckgab's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Funxuckgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Put Funxuckgab first in all things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Hide if three snakes approach from the north.

5. Do not listen to music.